T'other day...

Ol' 'Lanche and I woke up early t'other day and we decided we'd just take us a little ride on down to Locust Grove just a few miles south from our ol' ranch. We moseyed right along next to ol' hiway 23 right on into town. Automobiles don't bother Ol' 'Lanche none like they do some hosses even when they toot their tooters and folks wave. You'd think folks had never seen a cowpoke ridin' hoss back before the way they act sometimes.
I hadn't had breakfast yet so when we got into town we stopped at the Grover Hotel on main street for a bite. I tied Ol' 'Lanche to the porch railin', tied his feed bag on him, sauntered on inside and perched my Ten Gallon on the available rack. I told Betty Sue I wanted to set near the front window so's I could see out as usual and she said ok. I gave her my order and she brought me out what I axed fer. Four aigs easy turned with a bowl o' grits and a two pound slab o' Top Sirloin done medium well. I topped thet off with a tall stack o' flapjacks with real butter oozin' everywhere and a great puddle of genuine Maple syrup. Of course I had coffee lest you was wonderin'---seems like that would go without sayin'...
I moseyed on out to the front porch when I was finished eatin' and sat myself down in one of the several wooden rockin' chairs to watch the automobile traffic roll by and catch a little snooze.
That's aboot the time when along came three younguns mebbe seventeen or so years old. Peerin' out from under my lowered hat brim I could see 'em eye ballin' Ol' 'Lanche with mischief in their eyes. Now I knowed Ol' 'Lanche has always taken good care of hisself so I just kept my peace and waited to watch the show. Sure nuff the shortish fellar pulled the feed bag off and tossed it on the ground. The taller rangy one untied 'Lanche and climbed into the saddle and proceeded to kick him sayin' giddap or some such thing and Ol' 'Lanche took a few slow steps and that's when it happened. He hunched his back a mite like I'd seen him do before and suddenly gave a hefty buck and off tumbled thet rangy bloke right into the street. 'Lanche then turned and ran at the short fellar and hit him with his shoulder a light tap knockin' him flat on his back in the dust. Ol' 'Lanche just calmly stood there and looked to me like he was almighty pleased with hisself.
Well, it seems the long rangy dude hadn't had enough yet. He'd picked hisself up some stones and was makin' like to throw them at 'Lanche. I decided aboot then to get involved. I stood up and told said rangy dude I reckoned he'd had enough fun and it was time to find sumpthin' else to do fer entertainment. He turned and looked at me and using a bad word or two remarked upon my advanced years. I could see clearly he wasn't aboot to stop his idear of wingin' stones at 'Lanche so I thought it was time to show him the handy hawgleg I carry for discouraging pesky varmints and suggest he choose a different form of entertainment. He gave me an invite to a low down place of great heat and commenced to chuck them stones. Now I ain't a hasty man to start trouble or get in the way of it. But since this trouble came along right at me uninvited like I thought I'd just better end it. So I proceeded to pull the trigger on my ol' .44 and duly sent a large chunk of soft lead into the stone in that fellar's right hand. The rock sorta exploded into small pieces and the shock of the striking bullet stung his arm enough to make him howl a mite. But he stopped his sportin' activities partly due to the pain in his arm and partly because his partners in mischief had long since hightailed it for different scenery. He decided to foller off after them at a fairly rapid rate. I paused to wonder what he'd think if I'd a-told him I was aimin' ta knock his hat off and missed...
Aboot then up drove the Henry County deputy sheriff in his brand new dark gray Chevrolet Avalanche with it's fancy emblem on the door and all lights a-flashin'. He moseyed on up to me and said howdy Mr. P. and I said howdy there Jimmy. He asked what happened. I told him. He smiled and allowed how young folks sometimes choose to learn simple things the hard way. I said I reckoned so. We shook hands and he climbed back into his truck and departed. I mounted Ol' 'Lanche and we went home. "All things considered", I said to Ol' 'Lanche, "it ain't been too bad a day." I sorta got the idear Ol' 'Lanche agreed...